I think i sorta joined a cult last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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