I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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