For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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