Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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