I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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