after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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