went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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