we made out on top of his cat.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize