he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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