you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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