Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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