just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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