your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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