Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.

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(585): I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town. http://tfl.nu/h13y

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me

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(908): he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me http://tfl.nu/31sq

Replies (20) Good night (1627) Bad night (4579) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

can you pick me up an extra syllabus

(317): View more from Indiana

i passed out in the shower again

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(317): can you pick me up an extra syllabus (317): i passed out in the shower again http://tfl.nu/i8ap

Replies (26) Good night (4235) Bad night (1024)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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(440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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(504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp

Replies (9) Good night (2777) Bad night (737)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

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(337): so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now. http://tfl.nu/ckx3

Replies (14) Good night (724) Bad night (2141) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?

(416): View more from Toronto

yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.

(519): View more from Ontario

next time on intervention

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(519): isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks? (416): yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off. (519): next time on intervention http://tfl.nu/rnty

Replies (1) Good night (2502) Bad night (480)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.

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(219): Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding. http://tfl.nu/1cjf

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(718): View more from New York

Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.

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(718): Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me. http://tfl.nu/u7k0

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(770): View more from Georgia

Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.

(504): View more from Louisiana

A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.

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(770): Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers. (504): A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/wa4b

Replies (4) Good night (2017) Bad night (509)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.

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(580): And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/h6lx

Replies (2) Good night (1397) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Um, OK. WTF?

(410): View more from Maryland

The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.

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(410): Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy. (1-410): Um, OK. WTF? (410): The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times. http://tfl.nu/4f6p

Replies (24) Good night (2420) Bad night (260)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham

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(603): We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham http://tfl.nu/9szh

Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

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(312): OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY??? http://tfl.nu/50ou

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(289): View more from Ontario

In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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(289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3

Replies (13) Good night (202) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt

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