I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize