pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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