So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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