Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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