It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
honey bunches of taint.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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