just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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