If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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