420 ftw
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize