dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
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Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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