I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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