i think my mom watched the whole time
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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