yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize