I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize