Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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