Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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