Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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