I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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