I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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