im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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