It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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