the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize