we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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