my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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