The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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