Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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