Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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