Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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