What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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