Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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