So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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