that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize