She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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