At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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