I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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