Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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