PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize